To the source of inner strength (Info-Pac)
Dennis Pam, Provincial Assistant of PAC inspired by a book of Anselm Grün
[…] As missionaries, we have all experienced those days when we wake up full of energy and ready to face the day despite the fatigue of the day before. But there are also some days when nothing goes right or when we feel weary. We have no momentum, we don’t feel like doing anything and we are paralysed. A disagreement with a confrere is enough to block us. Sometimes we feel that the water from the source that sustains us is troubled. It has lost its regenerative capacity. It is altered by attitudes that are detrimental to our very person and
possibly to our mission. So where can we find strength in such cases? And how do we find the path that leads to the source of all life? We need to move from the outer springs from which we expect healing, strength, and freshness to the inner springs that God has offered us naturally to refresh us and give us new vigour.
We have a core of energy within us, a kind of reservoir from which we can draw our sources of energy. If we access this reserve where all our strengths are gathered, we will be able to flourish and have enough energy flowing through us to fuel our actions and thoughts. Here we think of Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well in the Gospel of St John 4:11 where Jesus speaks of “living water”. Water is the symbol of life, and spring water from the depths of the earth is pure and gives the possibility of endless renewal. But to discover this spring of pure water within us, we must first face the troubled waters, crossing them to reach the clear spring within our souls. We have negative emotions within us that disturb the water of the spring, that influence our life and mission, that have destructive effects and turn into rigid attitudes that direct our behaviour negatively. There are, for example, fear, ambition, work that sometimes turns into a drug, perfectionism, the desire to prove to ourselves that we have this or that quality, an exaggerated demand on ourselves in order to be able to meet the expectations of others, rivalry and competition, the desire to control everything, lack of self-confidence, anger and the depression that has become the disease of the century. All these attitudes are detrimental to us. […] Throughout our journey towards God, we make adjustments and revisions to respond adequately to our call. Every inner journey is always an adventure into the unknown. Our vocation is a call, an irresistible inner force, and we respond by letting the One who calls us guide us, while lending Him our cooperation. So let us have the courage to change what needs to be changed in us. In this way, the path to the source, deep within us, becomes the path to God and to others.
Happy Easter to all of you!